Why We Work

**For Valentine's Day this year, Bon from The Life of Bon and Taylor of The Daily Tay, got a link-up together for all of us romantics to write about why our relationships work. 

Great idea, and one I was going to skip, until I actually started to think about it.** 

Sometime this fall Peyton and I took personality tests and came out virtual opposites. While I was ESFJ (extrovert-sensing-feeling-judging) he was ENTP (extrovert-intuiting-thinking-perceiving). Basically, I'm a provider and he's an inventor. I'm all about relating and personal connections while he is centered on logic and envisioning.

We then took another test that was flying around Facebook a month ago, the iPersonic (take it if you haven't!), and got the same results. His title was "Groundbreaking Thinker" while mine was "Social Realist." Reliability is my number one, and it isn't even on his radar. He goes for innovation while I am all about tradition. His profile even said "it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with a Groundbreaking Thinker" while I'm, well... me. So there ya go- opposites attract. And we are about as different as can be.

But how exactly did I end up with someone who on occasion manages to be the most infuriating human I've yet encountered?

Or who is clearly on a different wavelength at vital moments when I wish he wasn't?

Or who has the ability to make me want to scream and run and wave my arms violently?

Welp, I think it comes down to a few simple things.

We are extroverts. We like people. We like company. We are comfortable in nearly any environment and don't have to deal with each other's anxieties that we just can't understand. I've dated some great guys, but none were extroverts, and it is truly refreshing to be with someone who just gets that basic bit of who I am.

We have similar core values. We are honest. We are kind. We enjoy helping others and truly care about the well-being of the world. I'm not trying to say that we are amazing (...we are) but I just find that these core similarities are oh so important when it seems like nearly everything about us is opposite.

We have strong senses of self. Which often times sucks, especially when we are battling each other. We both know who we are extremely well and are confident in our opinions. And when we don't agree? It hurts and escalates far too fast. But in the end, I think that from this comes a level of respect. Neither of us is a push-over and neither is faking it for the other. We present our real selves to love or leave, and we both choose to love.

We are relaxed. Not all the time, but in our day-to-day interactions and choices we stay pretty cool and collected. This helps drastically in parenting and keeps us on or around the same page. It also allows us to enjoy sitting at home night after night because we don't have to worry that we're missing out on the next best thing. We both know that there will always be another.

We laugh. Kind of goes with the relaxed thing, but it's possibly more important. Laughter is our glue, and we are both able to laugh heartily and often. At each other and ourselves. Both are vital.

We are both committed. And there's nothing like knowing the person you've gone through emotional roller coasters for is on board to do the same for you. It gives the most supportive sense of freedom.

Our differences often balance out. (Often being the imperative word). I'm punctual; he's far from it. He's a perfectionist when it comes to prep work; I'm sloppy as all get-out. He can listen; I can talk. I go feelings; he goes logic. And while sometimes these things don't always gel beautifully (or even at all), they often do. We fill in each other's spaces.


And of course, the most important thing of all...


We enjoy each other's company. Day after day, year after year, there is no one I would rather spend the bulk of my time with. There are certainly down times, but the majority of the time I am my happiest and most at ease with him. And while I can't say for certain that he'd say the same of me, I took to heart what he told me recently --

that I am, ahem, 

"the only woman that [he] would have met in [his] lifetime that [he] could have married." 

(aaaand cue the collective awww. or barfing...) 

And while those might be just words for lots of people out there, the fact that he was a confirmed bachelor for a veeery long time makes me believe it to be true. He wasn't going to settle. It's simply not in his iPersonic type.

So love you long time, P. 

For these (and many more) reasons.

{AllyElleCards on Etsy. Buy it. You know you have to.}

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27 - A Year to Love

{written on January 30, but posted a day late. You know, 'cause I got sleepy.}

{it's what we do on sick days -- teach the toddler all-important selfies. he now knows "cheese."}

{and then sleep and snuggle. With Sesame Street on for the littlest.}

Here I sit in the closing hours of my 27th birthday with a cat wearing a cone by my side and some hot vegetable soup in my belly. Today was not exactly the most celebratory of birthdays as our household has been hit by a stomach bug, one which started late Monday night and I thought I had narrowly escaped. But alas no; last night it got me. So today was a day of rest, tv, and a doctor's appointment to make sure all was well with baby (it is!).

I wasn't going to post anything until I remembered my resolution to just write. Today may not have been picture perfect or held anything worth Instagraming, but that didn't make it trash. In fact, when I really sat down to think about it, I got to spend it just the way I desired: with my two boys. I got extra cuddles from both, since none of us are feeling stellar, and was even taken care of by the eldest. I had numerous notes from friends sending warm wishes, and each and every one meant something to my heart. It was relaxing and full of love and completely unpretentious. It was a good day.

And that's what I'd like to focus on in my 28th year- attention to those who matter to me. Sending surprise notes in the mail, calling when I would otherwise text, picking face-to-face interactions over social media, and just generally taking the time to be there. It always amazes me how those little things truly mean the most. So this year I'm going to try my best to be that friend and give one of the sweetest and costliest gifts I have- my love.

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Stay

Blog Every Day in May

Day 25/31 - Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget.

There they stood. Two people in a crowd. Two people drawn together by life, tied together by kisses, and wondering what the future held. She was one for words, oodles of words that could take up pages and fill up rooms. He was one for actions, time being the very best gift.

The Austin skyline lit their view standing on that rooftop deck. It was his city; she was just testing the waters. She had needed change, a little shaking up. New people, new experiences, a new opportunity to wipe it all clean and start over. So she moved. With a car and a dog and a trunk full of goods, she crossed the country with hopes to find whatever it was she was looking for.

She wasn't sure what she had found, but she was sure she was happy. It had been right, that much she knew. But he wasn't clear. He held her, he kissed her, his eyes smiled every time they met hers, but he wasn't ready to commit. He wasn't ready to take that leap, to lay his cards down to let her see. He was cautious. He was quiet. He was logical, but love defies logic.

So that night, that clear, warm, August night, when he pulled her to him as though she was his, she couldn't help but smile. It felt right. This night felt right. He'd realize it too, it was in those cards.

"I hope you'll stay. I hope you'll stay for a while."

Not an I love you, not even a commitment, but enough of his heart to show that she was right where she was meant to be. And that this place that had called her to it was indeed exactly what she'd been looking for.

**Linking to On Your Heart and Just Write.**

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My Giant Problem

Blog Every Day in May
Day 20/31 - Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

I'm struggling with a lot right now. Like cleaning this house, unpacking countless boxes, fixing actual food, and the fact that it's not yet June and I'm not yet on vacation. 

But I was told to get real, so get real I will. 

I struggle with the fact that I'm taller than my husband. 

I know, I know. I chose it.

Well, I kind of chose it: I chose him. And I love him. And I wouldn't go back and do anything differently in those choices. What's awesome is he doesn't care one bit and I totally love him for that.
This is my struggle, my issue, and it seriously is just so senseless. 

Knowing all of that, I still have to admit that sometimes I just feel like this:

{via}

The Jolly Green Giant stomping through the Murray household. 

(Especially since I love me some kale and spinach and salad.)

I don't often talk about it less because of the fact that I'm embarrassed by it and more because I'm embarrassed that it even bothers me. 

I have a man whom I love. A man that loves me to the moon and back and treats me accordingly. Who brings out the best in me and lets me be myself. I'm beyond lucky and I know it. 

Plus friends, it's time we get real. I'm a feminist.
And do feminists worry about crazy stuff like being taller than their husbands?

Mmmmm.. no.

Feminists see that it's culturally created and has no purpose in life whatsoever. They point out how awesome it is to be able to reach the top shelves of cupboards and not have to hem store-bought jeans.

I need to grow up and get back in the twenty-teens or whatever the hell we're going to call them. 

But it's hard. Because I don't want to grow anymore. I want to shrink a bit and make it all perfect and Disney-like.

{even the tramp is taller... it's just ridiculous. via}

But since HGH isn't an option and I don't know of any shrinking potion, I guess I'm going to live with it. 

And luckily I've got a supportive, tall-gal loving man to help me through. 

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What I Miss

Blog Every Day in May Challenge
Day 12/31 - What do you miss?

It's Mother's Day, so plain and simple-

I miss my mom. 

Wish we could celebrate together, momma. I love you.

*******************************

And a big Happy Mother's Day hug to all you other mamas out there. 

We're just about the best thing ever... not that I'm biased or anything. 

Here's a little video for ya. 

Waterworks. Every. Time.

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We Crash Heads

Day 8/31 - A moment in your day

There's a moment that's repeated daily in our house. Declan sits in his highchair, food filling his belly and eyes being rubbed for a nap. It's at this point, this exact point, that if you lean in close- just put your head down near his- he'll bend forward to collide, putting all of his weight and trust in your forehead to keep his tired soul up. Sometimes he'll roll it back and forth. Sometimes he'll giggle and try to touch noses. Recently he's rested for a bit to get the energy to bite your chin. It's sweet. It's an understood moment between the two of us.

Except for this morning, of course. The morning when I tried to get pictures.

So to be true to the moment of this day, here are three pics of what went down.

Babies. It's like they've got a mind of their own or something. 

**More moments linked at Story of My Life**

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The Games We Play

Back in the day, before Peyton and I were officially Peyton and I, we were friends. Best friends I liked to think. My husband, though, was a little slower on the uptake...

First off, this story takes place on a trip to Home Depot. Not a very friendship-y activity, I'd say.

Second? We were diving into the Table Topics life questions, because every chance in a budding relationship holds infinite opportunities to learn the deepest, most intimate pieces of someone's soul. (You know: wheat or white, flat-head or phillips, dog or cat. Those types of things.) And once again, not an activity that I strike up with any old Joe on the street.

So there we are in the car, partaking in a Home Depot trip full of deep, probing questions, soaking in each other's presence and connecting with our heart-to-heart.

"Who would you choose to live on a deserted island with for two years?"

Peyton ponders this, for a bit too long it seems. "Chico? Noo, man. I don't think I could last that long with him... I don't know."

He was truly struggling.

"I don't think there's anyone. Nope, no one. What about you? Who would you pick?"

So I go for it, the first person that popped in my head. "Well... You."

Let's just say there were crickets. And pins dropping. And the man with the sad fiddle was about to step up.

"Oh, um, YEA. Yea, me too!" Some overly emphatic nodding and a pleased smile ensued.

"I'd pick you."

And not one to be proven wrong, the man up and married me. Now if only he'd focus on the whole Mediterranean yacht thing, we'd be one step closer to that deserted island.

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Back to Basics

{via}

Yesterday I had plans. Plans to post a weekly photo, update you on Declan developments, and basically just be a mom. And then I read a disarming post.

This writer discussed God and our country and our future. It talked about how we have food, shelter, and freedom because of our belief in God while those in bondage, starvation, and poverty lack this belief. It talked about how the votes we were casting to add "freedom" were really taking us to hell in a hand basket.

I was pissed. I sat here and wrote and wrote, deleting sentences and paragraphs that began my thoughts but didn't end them. None of my feelings were being properly conveyed. There were too many "and this'" "and that's" whizzing around in my head to catch them all and slap them down here.

So, with a baby strapped to my chest and a german shepherd by my side, I went on a walk. The air was crisp and the sun was fading. Neighbors were going around their lit houses preparing dinner. Garage doors were opening and closing, welcoming workers, parents, students, and babies home to warmth and comfort. Life was abuzz.

It was on this walk, seeing political signs and stickers all over, that I was comforted. I once again felt united with my fellow Americans. Sure, there were those that I outwardly agree with based on the name posted, but then there were others who had no stated allegiance or one that differed from mine. I felt proud to have the freedom to show our choices, use our voices, and come together to make things happen.

From what I see, we might differ, but in the end we are oh so similar.

We want security for our friends and family.

We want good health and help when it's lacking.

We want our children to grow up confident in who they are, know they are loved, and have strong values to guide their way.

We want education and knowledge.

We want freedom to voice our opinions, believe our beliefs, and follow what we think is right.

One of the beautiful tenets of this country is the freedom afforded. It is in this freedom that we get strength. To me, diversity is desirable. If we can learn from and respect our differences as a nation we will be that much mightier.

We have work ahead, but I do not think that it is as simple as needing to keep God in our nation. Countless groups of people have been held down by religion over time, so how 'bout we get back to the basics? We need more love, respect, and compassion. We need to be generous with our thoughts and understand other viewpoints. We need to realize that there are things that we don't agree on, but that many of those things are personal and have no impact on others. We need to focus on the positive, stop trying to control, and be giving to one another.

I feel that yesterday we took strong steps in this direction. I hope we continue on this journey, striving for the best for our country, for our citizens, and for ourselves. Let's show compromise and compassion, respect and no judgment. Let's work together and erase divisiveness. Hate and fear will get us no where. Let's bring back the love.

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To My Mister, On His Birthday

{It's hard to write this in a cheese-less, vegan-friendly way because my heart just wants to wax on and on about what a spectacular human being he is. But, it being his birthday and all, I decided that he kind of deserves to read a nice thing or two about himself. So in the spirit of keepin' things real and celebrating P, I'm taking heart to paper screen. I'll just try to keep it more of a feta and less of an in-your-face bleu.}

Peyton-

Thank you for being born. I know you had quite the hand in it, so hats off to you. Thank you as well for moving to Austin, buying a house, and opening up a room to strangers. Without all those steps, I'd be a rich, happy lady missing the best piece of my soul. I'm pretty sure fate led the way for us and our intersecting paths. That fate is a sneaky one. It had me all fooled that you were nothing but a friend, that I'd live in Austin for a year, that I was going to have some amazing single girl times, then BOOM! Love. Thank goodness I caught on to it and dropped subtle hints that let you know what a triumphant couple we'd be. (You're welcome, you're welcome. You wake up and sing hallelujah EVERY SINGLE DAY for this fact, I know.)

Anyway, I'm beyond glad our story unfolded as it did. You're my rock, my best friend, and on more occasions than you should probably let happen but of which I'm so thankful for, my enabler to being lazy. You balance out my soul, desires, fears, and passions in a way I could never have expected.

You helped create, according to unbiased four-year-old Thomas, "the cutest baby in the whhhhole world!" Gotta give you some props for that one. Plus, you are following through and actually taking care of him, pretty darn well in fact. So please, I will now let the world know that you are an excellent hands-on dad, and I wouldn't trade you for anyone, not even Mr. Ryan Gosling himself.

But the most important act currently in our day-to-day existence is that you are our provider. You allow me to stay home and raise our child, to experience his first laughs, toe touches, and pterodactyl squawks as they come. This gift is more precious than any monetary good I could find and somehow I take it for granted far too often. (Now mind you, I haven't gone to the luxury stores yet...) So thank you, from both Dex and I (well, I at least HOPE that boy agrees), for giving us this opportunity that we will carry through our lives.

While there are about a gazillion more wonderful aspects to you, some of which I know and many of which I have yet to learn, I will leave it at that. Today I celebrate your spirit, accomplishments, and life while looking forward to the decades of experience ahead. 

Happy birthday love. Thank you for sharing your heart and journey with me. 

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4 Months

Sweet Declan-

My goodness how time flies. One month ago I had words to write and a picture to post about your three month birthday, and now here I sit finally getting to it! Baby development is so swift and subtle all at once. I don't feel like much changes each day, but I go back to journal entries and realize you are getting so big.

Last I wrote you were just learning to chuckle, and now your laugh fills the room throughout the day. Your ticklishness arrived and ribs and feet are the place to attack. The daily ebb and flow of what you find funny keeps us on our toes, always trying to get that big gummy grin complete with sound. Sometimes you want to bounce on the bed, or hear a song, or see a tongue sticking out, or have your chin grabbed. But sure enough, as soon as one of us is called in to see your overwhelming cuteness you decide that that's enough, thank you very much.

A few weeks ago you rolled over for the first time. Luckily it was from stomach to back, so no worries yet of uncontrolled motion across the room. In fact, you are quite content on your back and have shown no desire to reposition. But that tummy turn, you just get up on your arm and pop!- you're over. When it's not executed properly, you flop over halfway and lay your fuzzy head on your arm, not sure what went wrong but content at having a resting spot.

You are trying to talk up a storm, really learning to communicate with sounds. You still aren't a crier, but sure are learning how to work us when you do. You might not have a huge array of desires yet, but those that are there seem to get filled pretty quickly using your limited Declan vocabulary.

Your favorite toy is the rubber giraffe. You love to watch the dogs play, laughing sometimes as they come close. Once your fingers hit your mouth for the first time a few weeks ago, it was love at first taste. You honed in on that skill in a jiffy. You have stayed awake on both a grocery store trip and a car ride, two small but impressive feats for your easily lulled self. And you are a chunk, chunk, chunk- of the cutest variety, of course.

Your next month includes two weeks in Baltimore. Possibly my favorite two weeks of the entire year, season wise. I'm excited to show you fall colors, smells, and air, and even more excited to see what you throw back in return.

All my love-

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And Then He Was Held...

By family. By friends. By a little girl who has mama coded in her genes. And it was good and sweet and charming. Thank you all, both pictured and non, for loving us.

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Twenty-Eight Days In

Our little nugget-- 

You are just a wonderfully sweet boy. You're working harder each day at holding your tiny head up, since we're sure you've realized that better neck control equals advanced ability to hone in on food source. Feeding is thankfully falling into a comfortable rhythm. You are chunking up perfectly, with rolls forming from your chin to your ankles. Even your hands are little fatties. We hesitate to mention that you actually sleep at night in case that jinxes everything. (Knock on wood AND fingers crossed!) 

Wonderful noises come out of you at all times- sweet sucks and sighs when nursing, huge grunts when stretching, small squeaks when sleeping, and hiccups at random intervals in between. Even the dogs are charmed; Tegan and Athena have already nominated themselves as your bodyguards. Luckily their hourly snout-to-face check-ins don't phase you one bit. 

And baby you sure are soaking this world in something fierce. You love staring out windows (yet still sleep on adventures) and quiet down for almost all music. Wakeful hours are increasing as you see what this grand place has to offer. Your eyes are open more, making their future color a constant topic of conversation. Grandma has bets on brown; your dad on green. Only time will tell!

As much as it saddens us to see you growing so fast, each new thing you do makes us fall just a bit harder. So all in all, next month promises to be pretty gosh darn amazing. xoxo

Here are some photos from the past two weeks:

{2w3d: Just catchin' some rays on Memorial Day} 

{2w3d: Pleased to meet ya} 

 {2w3d: Making big boy buddies}

 (2w3d: "I fart in your general direction."}

{2w3d: <3} 

 {2 weeks 4 days}

{3w: First time downtown. Sporting dino jammies for some Jurassic Park}

{3w1d: Waiting for daddy to start his day... Keep on waiting son.}

{3w1d: Taking in grandma} 

 {3w1d: Pure baby deliciousness}

 {3w2d: First farmer's market}

{3 weeks 1 day} 

 {3w2d: Practicing his peek-a-boo creeper...}

{3w4d: Three generations of Staebler love} 

 {3w4d: "I'm sexy and I know it..."}

{3w4d: "... I work out."}

{3 weeks 4 days} 

{3 weeks 4 days} 

{3w4d: Looking up to my momma.} 

{3 weeks 4 days} 

{3w5d: Sumo the guard cat reporting for duty.} 

{3w6d: "Puppies get eight boobies and I'm stuck with two?"}

{3w6d: "Which little piggy did what?"} 

{3w6d: Full belly- Free. Clean diaper- Free. Happiness- Priceless.} 

{3w6d: Ok, figured out what this piggy's doing!} 

{3w6d: "I'm Declan. Mr. Ed I presume?"}

{4w: "See ya' next time!"}

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