Is meeting new people tough for you? Because it is for me. Sometimes excruciatingly so.
I don't think of myself as shy. In fact I love introductions. But group meetings? eep! When I'm sans security blankets (i.e. husband, baby or friends) I have to push myself to go. The ones where others are flying solo, like exercise classes or meeting other moms, ain't no big thang. But conferences or events? People come armed with friends and I get scurrrrred.
It seems like somewhere along the road of child to adult, group encounterings got tough. I was constantly put in these situations as a kid and most of the time came out with a new bestie. Or at least someone to swing on the monkey bars with.
But now I just try to make it out unscathed by my foot-in-mouth comments. You know, like the ones that lead people to think my husband had intimate moments with a man (which no, he did NOT.) I go in terrified of cliques, because there always seems to be one, and then when I'm talking worry that I am cutting others out. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to fit, but I also don't want to seem aloof. Shouldn't I just be me?? Of course! I try. But I'm being honest here, and I get scared.
Maybe we are all in the same boat? Maybe we are all a bit fearful of new peeps and groups and fitting in? 'Cuz if that's the case, we need to join together and say cliques suck and we want to be friends and sing kumbaya! I'd be down with that. I could join a little singing/swaying kumbaya session with some gusto. But until I find that group, I just need to practice. Put myself out there. And hope there are more monkey bars.
LIVE THE MURRAYED LIFE
This makes me wish we lived closer together. I'd be in your clique! :)
ReplyDeleteOur monkey bar, accept everyone clique?! :) It's funny... This is how I felt at Goucher a lot of the time too and looking back I'm like "Why?!" Everyone I did talk to was so nice and now I feel like I could have been closer friends with quite a few!
DeleteYou need to come over and have a drink with me!
ReplyDeleteI am going to take you up on that offer! Let's plan something soon. Do you do SXSW at all??
DeleteIt is odd how some situations can feel so open and welcoming, and others the people seem clique-ish. I am sure sometimes I have seemed to be "on the inside", when in reality I was just enjoying talking to friends that I had not seen in a while, so did not even notice the person who just walked in, or who is hovering on the periphery.
ReplyDeleteExactly!! So then I start wondering if it's all in my head that these are even cliques. I'm probably psyching myself out and they are just a bunch of nice chicas chatting!
DeleteWe are so much alike in this, Christina!
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I've had a tough time fitting into the Titus 2 moms group at our church for just this reason. Every. single. month. I put my foot in my mouth. Without fail! ::sigh:: I find myself constantly doing it even with longtime friends, though -- Thank goodness they're gracious enough to forgive me all the time. ;)
Hahaha Yes... That's why longterm friends are SO important. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one! :)
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