Thursday, September 5, 2013

Go To Bed Angry.

Day 3 - Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.


I'm sure we've all heard the advice - "Never go to bed angry," right?

And to that I say, "B.S."

If I had followed this well meaning tidbit, I likely would:

a) have lost much needed beauty rest.
b) never have come to any conclusion on the issue at hand.
c) have no husband right now.
d) all of the above.

You see, I'm virtually non-functional at night. It's genetic. A truly small molehill (for instance, Peyton wears too many Tennessee shirts) becomes Mount Kilimanjaro in a matter of moments. And then I have to walk away. Walk away and go to sleep and wake up in the morning with a bright new perspective on life and those shirts. (Or at least no urge to dance around them burning in a trashcan.) 

And I'm not saying this works all the time. 

If there is a big problem at hand, and P. is there and wanting to talk about it, then I'll soldier through as long as it's productive. But with me being the relationship communicator of the two of us, that rarely happens. 

How 'bout an example?

I'm peacefully sleeping in the cloak of the night, when in stumbles the husband at 1:30 after falling asleep on the couch. I can't go back to sleep, I hate all his stupid Tennessee shirts, I hate the way he breathes, and I hate that he keeps waking me up. In my night time, completely sound mind, I decide that the only solution is divorce. Luckily though, sleep starts to overcome me before I can get those un-takeawayable words out. And when morning comes, all is well. In fact, we get some hearty chuckles out of the situation. I tell him my night time thoughts as we cuddle. 

"Do you actually want one?"

"Of COURSE not," I laugh. 

"But did you at the time?"

"One HUNDRED percent."

**Pulls me close. We laugh. Life. Is. Good.**

All this to say, I am not rational at night. 

So my advice to you is simple - go to bed angry. Not furious. Not leaving a spouse hanging and banging on the door. But just make it clear that some things are talked about with a fresh mind. And often, I've found, the problem will iron itself out by morning. 


LIVE THE MURRAYED LIFE

29 comments:

  1. aye, things are brighter in the morning they say. for me it depends on the problem. but truth to be told, my brain cannot function well after 3 in the morning.

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  2. YES. This is so true. Sometimes you just need to take a second and breathe. Everything looks different in the morning. Who started that ridiculous piece of advice anyway?

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  3. I agree with this - I used to go to bed angry all of the time and would wake up feeling rational. Unfortunately the relationship still failed. WOMP.

    :)

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  4. Hear Hear! Sometimes everything can't be solved all at once.

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  5. Oh my gosh! I chuckled at your scenario because it's so true. I am a mountain out of a molehill kind of girl too so I totally get it. Solidarity sister! =] And, I think going to be angry is better than a knock out fight where no one ends up happy. A fresh perspective is always better than a rash decision.

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  6. I hear you! So evenings I'm just spent! However, after I lay there for a little bit, fuming about something...I don't know, something just happens, I get a little perspective and usually calm down and can think clearly :) I think, whatever works, do it :) Glad I clicked over from Blogtember :) Have a great day!!

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  7. This is SO true. I'm exactly the way you are! I find it ridiculous that people advise you to duke it out late at night, when everyone is overtired and just needs to sleep. Perfect advice today, Chistina. You always make me laugh. :)

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  8. I couldn't agree more! There are so many times that I am upset but I know that if I just sleep on it, things will be better in the morning. Great post :-)

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  9. You're right! I did always only hear the "original" version, but this is right. Some things don't seem as important or horrible the day after.

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  10. I couldn't agree more. Add to that potential for a wine-induced argument. Just better to wait till morning.

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  11. This is great! I get this way when I am hungry too...

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    1. Me too friends! And then Peyton has the nerve to say something like "Looks like someone needs to eat." Thank you, dear. That helps SO much!

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  12. This is amazing - yes yes yes! Totally agree.

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  13. amen.
    I always hated that advice, and never followed it.
    Sometimes I want to just murder my husband.

    Next morning: I'm swooning.

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  14. This is great. I love how real it is. This is exactly how I act when I'm hangry. Brian knows not to come near me unless he brings carbs with him

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  15. Wow a totally new angle at anger management! Cool stuff! 。◕‿◕。

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  16. I think it totally depends on the person. I'm not a high sleep-need person, and if I'm upset, it's extremely hard for me to distract myself enough to fall asleep. For me, it's much easier to talk things through and get rational....and then I can actually fall asleep. But I understand that most people need their rest alot more than I do, and in that case, this strategy makes complete sense!

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  17. Such great advice! I have definitely agree with you on this one! I am totally the same way when it comes to totally irrational night thinking. I also have to take a step back sometimes and think " Wow, wait, am I hangry now?"

    :-) Tabitha

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  18. I love this post because I am EXACTLY the same way. My husband affectionately refers to my crazy nighttime personality as "sleep Hannah" and man is she one evil, crazy you know what. She says funny things and can be very abrasive which sucks because I rarely remember anything even happening but when I am coherent enough I try to hold her back. I also learned relatively quick into our marriage (we celebrate our first anniversary in about 10 days) that the 'never' should be completely erased from that piece of advice.

    Glad to hear I'm not the only one!

    xoxohannah

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  19. This is so true. I actually laughed at my bridal shower when I got the advice to never go to bed angry. I'm the kind of person who can argue until i'm blue in the face, it works best for us to leave it until the morning.

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  20. May I add, "and also just let me sleep on the couch when I irrationally demand to."

    We had a very, very late night a few weeks ago. Going to bed angry probably would've solved much of it! And letting me sleep on the couch...

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  21. yes, yes and YES! we are getting married next month but have been living together for almost 3 years. at my bridal shower i received these "advice" cards and 60% of them were "never go to bed angry". NOT TRUE I TELL YA!

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  22. This is SO true! I always feel this niggling guilt if I'm lying there in bed, falling asleep and I'm angry. It's like, "But wait, I'm not supposed to let the sun go down on my wrath!" But I totally agree with this train of thought...sometimes molehills become mountains and we just need to wait and let the morning light shrink them down again. Great thoughts.

    Found you through all of this #blogtember madness.:)

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  23. Great advice! I totally agree with your conclusion. ;)

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  24. I'm totally the same way. I'm not a night person at all, and the more tired I get the more cranky and irrational I am.

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  25. that's so true, during sleep your mind can mull things over and sometimes when we are cranky and tired we just want things to end and do some irrational decisions...like climbing lamppost...wait not sorry that was alcohol.

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