Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Remembering Our First

Today is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. 
I wrote a few years ago about our first pregnancy, one that did not end as beautifully as Declan's.
 It was short-lived, but filled with dreams and excitement and hopes and love. 
Our little Juan Carlos. 
Our bittersweet miracle after months of trying. 

Tonight I light a candle, remember those weeks, and hold that sweet lost baby in my heart. 

(It's wordy and not well proofed, but was much needed to heal.)



  1. Sending you love and prayers today!

  2. I didn't know you lost a baby, Christina... made me tear up. Lots of love... xo

  3. So sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing your story so honestly.

  4. My heart. I've had a couple friends who lost their babies and it scares me so bad. We haven't started trying yet, and I can't begin to understand the love felt for a child, nor could I imagine the heart break of losing a baby during pregnancy.

    Love you. And your family- earthly and heavenly.

  5. Thank you for sharing this story. My sister-in-law's first pregnancy didn't go very far either, and the whole family shared in that sadness. Somehow, it turned into a blessing and made room for my dear, sweet oldest nephew (with whom my SIL became pregnant about 6 months after losing baby #1). I also have a good friend who lost her first, but she is now the mother of beautiful little girl twins! I could sense the sadness and loneliness they felt, and that is why I admire when women share these stories- because it just might help feel another woman to feel less alone with the loss that she suffers.

  6. You know, I remember when we first met I came to referenced post, and I didn't know what to see. Even now I don't. But how thankful I am that Declan made his way too you soon after, and another little one on the way, to mend the heart just that much more.

  7. I'm so sorry. I had no idea that you've lost a baby, Bestie. I went back to read the post you referenced and I just admire you that much more now for how openly and honestly you shared your story. I'm so very glad that sweet Declan found his way to you- and now this precious little one on the way, too! Love and light and hugs to you and Peyton... <3

  8. Christina....
    I had no idea that you lost a baby!! How very heartbreaking!! My Grandmother lost two of her children, but she met them. Aunt Sandra and Uncle Paul Michael. As a single woman who has never carried, much less lost, any children, I cannot imagine the horrific pain. It never truly goes away, a friend who lost her second born son once told me....
    --Hugs, Friend!!--

  9. Sending positive thoughts over the ocean to you guys!

  10. sending love and a big hug your way

  11. Thank you for posting the link, I think you're being a bit hard on yourself about the writing. It was beautiful and incredibly moving. Thinking of you and your beautiful family! *Hugs*


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