Wednesday, February 12, 2014

That Time I Drove Forty Minutes For Leftover Cake.

Apparently the baby is in her chunking up phase, because I am thirty-five weeks along and ravenous.

As in, finish boxes of chocolate cereal every night (and afternoon) and then pass out on the couch in a cereal coma ravenous.

Or make cinnamon rolls nearly daily ravenous.

Or drive nearly an hour to try to get some leftover cake ravenous. 

You see, my adopted Texas family threw a little late birthday shindig for me last Thursday complete with a delicious cookies-and-cream vegan cake. After choosing to split my piece with Declan, all I could think about was relaxing on the couch post-bedtime with the rest all for me. (And maybe an offering or two for that sweet husband of mine.) With mouthwatering dreams running through my mind, I loaded up the car and drove off into the night, confident that this night would be a good one. 

But as I pulled into my driveway my hopes came crumbling down when the realization hit: I'd left my delicacy on the car roof. And I'd just driven twenty minutes away from it.

After a quick, heartbreaking call to Margaret in which the cake was nowhere to be found, there was only one option: I had to go back to see for myself. I ran inside, deposited my child with his father, and hit the road.

The time crept by as I got closer and closer. I kept my eyes peeled on the pavement, hoping for a dessert miracle. And when I saw it, my heart skipped a beat. My plastic top! Some icing wrapped along the inside! But then it became all too clear that what I really was seeing was wreckage. It was brutal people. Brutal to my heart and soul. And those tire tracks? A punch to the gut. I took a quick picture for posterity's sake and tried to enjoy the icing remnants as I made the long trek home, but it was truly hard knowing their chocolate brother was no longer.  

But let me tell you: I don't regret the journey. It was necessary for these hormones to be quenched. And while it certainly isn't in a better place, it is in a place that I knew wasn't salvageable. And that let my mind rest with some ease that night.

 So disintegrate in peace, sweet cake. You deserved a more appreciated ending. 

Love from-
Your-should-clearly-be-larger admirer



  1. Oh, I'm so sorry about the demise of your lovely cake:( At least you also salvaged a funny post out of it!!

  2. Oh the horror!! The horror, no not the sweet cake, it is not what it deserved at all.

  3. Hahaha, you are awesome! Best post ever. I would totally do the same, and I don't have the pregnancy hormones to blame. Just hormones in general? They are stronger than us! I'm very sad for your cake, even with tire tracks it still looks delicious. Were you tempted, even for a second, to scoop a non-tire bit up...?

    1. You KNOW I thought about trying to salvage some, but non hadn't been crushed by tires... I will only go so far. My husband was shocked at my eating the icing though!

  4. Oh my goodness. This is HILARIOUS. Hahaha.

  5. Oh my GOSH! This is too funny. I hate that you didn't get your cake--but it made fun a fun story. You might have inspired me to tell our wedding cake story next!

  6. Christina....
    "So disintegrate in peace, sweet cake. You deserved a more appreciated ending.". Crack. Me. Up!! ;-D

  7. Nnnnnoooooo!!!! Girl. I feel your pain! lol. Cannot believe that happened!! I am so sorry!! But--this did seriously crack me up! Hope you are feeling good!! I am still waiting over here too--but ravenous not so much....indigestion? Yes maam.

  8. Haha! I do feel your pain though... Mmmmmmm now I want chocolate cake :) I just want to eat all the time too. I'm glad I'm not alone in my cereal cravings - unhealthy sugary strawberry vanilla granola is my fav right now. I can polish off a whole pack in one sitting....

  9. haha oh this post made me laugh! Hope you get some cake for valentines day! ;)

  10. hahaha ok reading your level of cake longing in a blog post is honestly so much better than in a text message... i really feel your pain... even though I'm totally laughing at you and not with you ;) Hey Peyton! Go make the crazy pregnant lady a big ass cake!

  11. I feel your pain. Thanks for sharing! Its nice to know I'm not the only one who's preggo hormones make her go cray-cray!

  12. I died laughing - but in an empathetic way, I promise. Your posts are so fantastic!


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