Sunday, February 16, 2014

Why We Work

**For Valentine's Day this year, Bon from The Life of Bon and Taylor of The Daily Tay, got a link-up together for all of us romantics to write about why our relationships work. 
Great idea, and one I was going to skip, until I actually started to think about it.** 

Sometime this fall Peyton and I took personality tests and came out virtual opposites. While I was ESFJ (extrovert-sensing-feeling-judging) he was ENTP (extrovert-intuiting-thinking-perceiving). Basically, I'm a provider and he's an inventor. I'm all about relating and personal connections while he is centered on logic and envisioning.

We then took another test that was flying around Facebook a month ago, the iPersonic (take it if you haven't!), and got the same results. His title was "Groundbreaking Thinker" while mine was "Social Realist." Reliability is my number one, and it isn't even on his radar. He goes for innovation while I am all about tradition. His profile even said "it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with a Groundbreaking Thinker" while I'm, well... me. So there ya go- opposites attract. And we are about as different as can be.

But how exactly did I end up with someone who on occasion manages to be the most infuriating human I've yet encountered?

Or who is clearly on a different wavelength at vital moments when I wish he wasn't?

Or who has the ability to make me want to scream and run and wave my arms violently?

Welp, I think it comes down to a few simple things.

We are extroverts. We like people. We like company. We are comfortable in nearly any environment and don't have to deal with each other's anxieties that we just can't understand. I've dated some great guys, but none were extroverts, and it is truly refreshing to be with someone who just gets that basic bit of who I am.

We have similar core values. We are honest. We are kind. We enjoy helping others and truly care about the well-being of the world. I'm not trying to say that we are amazing (...we are) but I just find that these core similarities are oh so important when it seems like nearly everything about us is opposite.

We have strong senses of self. Which often times sucks, especially when we are battling each other. We both know who we are extremely well and are confident in our opinions. And when we don't agree? It hurts and escalates far too fast. But in the end, I think that from this comes a level of respect. Neither of us is a push-over and neither is faking it for the other. We present our real selves to love or leave, and we both choose to love.

We are relaxed. Not all the time, but in our day-to-day interactions and choices we stay pretty cool and collected. This helps drastically in parenting and keeps us on or around the same page. It also allows us to enjoy sitting at home night after night because we don't have to worry that we're missing out on the next best thing. We both know that there will always be another.

We laugh. Kind of goes with the relaxed thing, but it's possibly more important. Laughter is our glue, and we are both able to laugh heartily and often. At each other and ourselves. Both are vital.

We are both committed. And there's nothing like knowing the person you've gone through emotional roller coasters for is on board to do the same for you. It gives the most supportive sense of freedom.

Our differences often balance out. (Often being the imperative word). I'm punctual; he's far from it. He's a perfectionist when it comes to prep work; I'm sloppy as all get-out. He can listen; I can talk. I go feelings; he goes logic. And while sometimes these things don't always gel beautifully (or even at all), they often do. We fill in each other's spaces.

And of course, the most important thing of all...

We enjoy each other's company. Day after day, year after year, there is no one I would rather spend the bulk of my time with. There are certainly down times, but the majority of the time I am my happiest and most at ease with him. And while I can't say for certain that he'd say the same of me, I took to heart what he told me recently --

that I am, ahem, 

"the only woman that [he] would have met in [his] lifetime that [he] could have married.

(aaaand cue the collective awww. or barfing...

And while those might be just words for lots of people out there, the fact that he was a confirmed bachelor for a veeery long time makes me believe it to be true. He wasn't going to settle. It's simply not in his iPersonic type.

So love you long time, P. 

For these (and many more) reasons.

{AllyElleCards on Etsy. Buy it. You know you have to.}



  1. "Our differences often balance out" - I love this because I can relate so much. It seems vital that someone (esp your spouse) be able to fill you up where you're lacking. And I can also relate to wanting to run away while screaming & waving your arms violently! I'm so so glad I'm not the only one! Haha. Such a fabulous post. You have a lovely family & I adore your blog. *New follower! Thank you for your sweet words on my post.

  2. This is such a lovely list! I think you're right that we both really broke it down into the basics, but those are the things that keep people together. It's trying sometimes but it's fun to be with someone who is a little bit your opposite! Also, those pictures of you are adorable and I love what he said about marrying you. I'm looking forward to checking out more of your blog - Happy Sunday!

  3. 1) The Kanye card. That's a reference I get ;)
    2) It's nice that you're both extroverts. Jordan and I are opposites in that as well, and we definitely DO NOT understand that fundamental part about each other. But we work somehow.
    Which brings me to,
    3) I saw this linkup on another blog and loved the prompt. It's super cute.
    4) I love those pics up at the top! I keep trying to get Jordan to do those photobooth ones with me, but he hates them with the passion of a thousand suns. We did it on the 1-year anniversary of our first date, and he said that's the only time it will ever happen again. Gah! Boys.

  4. I loved that you wrote about having a strong sense of self. That is SERIOUSLY so important and it is easily forgotten! Thanks for mentioning it and reminding us all that it is possible! You two are beautiful and I love those photobooth photos! ;-)

  5. Christina....
    Opposites do attract!! That saying is so very true!! And my parents are living breathing proof!! Trust me on that one!! And these two opposites have been married for over twenty-five years!! ;)
    That card!! Crack. Me. Up!! ;-D

  6. First off I love the Kanye card. Hilarious because it is so true. I love that you included how you are both committed to each other. It is something that I love about my own relationship, the fact you know the other person is really committed for the long haul.

  7. So true about differences balancing out! That push-pull effect forces me to be more thoughtful about my decisions and opinions because I know I might have to explain them. Opposites totally attract, as long as you have the same principles at the core. Sweet post!

  8. "I love you like Kanye loves Kanye." That's a pretty deep love, opposites or not.

  9. So sweet! And makes so much sense. And that card?? Hilarious!

  10. LAUGHING out loud at that "like kanye loves kanye" card. Oh my gosh. Why did I not find that before love day??

  11. You definitely just filled your love letter quota for a lifetime. Aaaand wrote my wedding vows. Hahaha. Kidding, kidding. But seriously, that was so beautifully written and I imagine Peyton counts himself among the luckiest of men. I just wanna hug you both.

  12. I love this... What a wonderfully honest love letter to your guy. Also, took it just now, spontaneous idealist....


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